Terminating

One of the hard realities of being an employer is dealing with termination. Whether you like it or not, no one will work for you forever. Sooner or later you will have to replace a personal assistant (PA). You will need to replace a PA because the PA resigns, because of unsatisfactory performance, or because of serious interpersonal conflict.

If possible, plan a termination so that you have time to find and train another worker before your current worker leaves.

However, there are times when you can't avoid an abrupt resignation or an abrupt firing if your safety is at risk. Always be prepared with a back-up plan to meet short term and emergency personal assistance needs.

Termination Training Sections

Resignation: How do you handle a worker wanting to leave or resign?
Disciplinary Action: What to do if routine coaching has not improved a problem with your worker?
Firing: How do you know when it's time to fire a worker? How do you go about telling a worker he/she is fired?

Exit Interview Checklist: description of tool here

Resignation

News that a trusted personal assistant (PA) is resigning can be distressing. You may regret the loss of a dependable PA. You also may feel uncertain about his or her replacement.

It is common to feel a sense of loss and depression when a PA stops working for you. A good strategy that will help to minimize the feelings is to have a reliable replacement trained and ready when the former PA departs. Your former PA may be willing to help train your new PA.

Tip When a worker resigns it doesn't always mean they are dissatisfied with the job or with you. People's lives change, and sometimes they just need to move on.

When Your Worker Says She Wants to Resign

Ask whether the reasons behind the resignation can be resolved.
Usually they will not be resolvable because the problem has smoldered for some time and the PA is firm in her decision.
Accept the resignation, no matter how difficult that might be. Do your best not to show anger, which may cause the worker to leave sooner. Your goal is to avoid interruptions in your personal assistance services.
Tell the worker that you have appreciated her work and you regret her resignation, if that is the case.
Explain that the process of recruiting and hiring a replacement can take a while. Ask if you may depend upon her assistance for at least 2 weeks (3 or 4 would be better) until you can find a replacement. If you have treated her fairly and she is not facing a personal crisis, she often will agree to help for a reasonable time.
Obtain the worker's forwarding address and phone number so you can send tax forms, or contact her in an emergency. Also, be sure to get any keys or any of your valuables that the worker may have. Do this before you give her the final paycheck.

Resignation section adapted from Home Health Aides: How to Manage the People Who Help You by A.H. DeGraff, 1988, Fort Collins, Colorado. Copyright 1988 by Saratoga Access Publications, http://www.saratoga-publications.com. Reprinted with permission.

Disciplinary Action

Having a disciplinary conversation

If regular coaching has not corrected a problem you may need to have a disciplinary meeting. Disciplining an employee is uncomfortable. But if you wait until you are at the end of your rope to address problems you are likely to be agitated and make poor decisions.

Steps to have a disciplinary meeting

Approach the problem with a clear head. Give yourself time for any anger to dissipate. Yelling will get you nowhere. You must remain calm for productive discussions to take place.
Have back-up help ready before confronting the PA if you fear she may quit on the spot. This will give you confidence to speak honestly.
Choosing the right time and place is critical when discussing work issues. The setting must be private, quiet and face-to-face. Discussions should take place when the PA is not working and you are on equal grounds.
Plan ahead. Spend time getting your thoughts together. What will you say? How might she respond? What will you say in response?
Begin with the positive before criticizing. "Mary, I really appreciate how well you clean my house. Unfortunately your many last-minute calls to cancel have caused problems for me. I do not want to lose you, but if you cannot be more reliable, I'll need to find someone else." By telling the PA she is valued, she often will be more receptive to suggestions for change.
Remain calm. If the employee raises her voice, do not raise your voice to match hers.
Stay on track. Do not bring up unrelated topics. If you are reprimanding the PA who often is late, do not interject how you cannot stand her friends, or that she forgot to charge your power chair the night before.
Try to work things out. What are the reasons for the problem? A schedule change, clarification of needs, or more time off may be all it takes to resolve it. Explain how her behavior affects you and, if appropriate, how it violates the employment agreement. Ask if there is something you can do to improve the situation.
Document any performance reviews and/or conversations about the performance issue. Documentation will help if the PA files for unemployment and you are sent a notice of the claim. Documentation also will help if you need to take a disciplinary action.
If all else fails, ask if she wants to leave. People who are unable to say they "want out" will sometimes sabotage the relationship, forcing you to fire them. This way they make you the bad guy, not themselves.
Disciplinary Action. You do not need to have a written disciplinary procedure unless you employ over twenty people. However, if someone you have fired due to dissatisfaction with his or her work complains to a labor board, you will have to show that you acted fairly.

List of steps adapted from Avoiding Attendants from Hell: A Practical Guide to Finding, Hiring & Keeping Personal Care Attendants. June Price (1998), Science & Humanities Press, Chesterfield, MO.

Tip When planning the meeting, you may want to role play with a friend before contacting your PA.

Documenting Problems and Warnings

It is your decision whether to have a written procedure. Either way, you must make clear decisions. It will help if you keep good records of everything that went on -- what the PA did, what action you took, and the dates you issued warnings. Most employers follow this general procedure:

Stage 1: Oral warning (stays valid for 6 months)

Stage 2: Written warning (stays valid for 6 months)

Stage 3: Final written warning (stays valid for 12 months)

Stage 4: Dismissal.

For simple but annoying things, like persistently not cleaning up properly, you would issue an oral warning. This should let them know you are serious and, hopefully, you will not need to take further action. You should keep a written date of when you issued the warning.

At every stage in the disciplinary process you must make sure that your personal assistant understands:

What is wrong.
What needs to happen to make it right.
How you will decide if her work has improved.
What might happen if her work does not improve.

Do this during your evaluation meetings.

If there is no improvement following the oral warning, and your PA does something else wrong within 6 months, or you think that a matter deserves more than an oral warning, move to Stage 2: the written warning.

Arrange a meeting where you and your PA can discuss things undisturbed. This is an important meeting for both of you. It is good practice to allow your PA to have someone with her at the meeting if she wishes to do so. You also should consider having someone to assist you during the meeting.

Go through all the issues involved. Cover the issues, the solutions, how you will check for improvement, and the consequences of not improving. Write everything down, including deadlines for improvement. Give your PA a copy and keep one in your files.

If things still do not improve, you must give a final written warning, and if the situation remains unresolved, fire your PA.

Documenting Problems and Warnings adapted from You're the boss!, http://www.disabilitygateshead.org.uk, © 2000 Gateshead Council on Disability, Personal Assistance Project, Gateshead, NE8 4DY, England. Reprinted with permission.

Firing a PA

Firing a PA Who Does Not Live-In

Screening and checking references does not guarantee that your personal assistant will be a good employee. If your needs are not being met, you need to discuss these issues with your PA. If he or she does not respond by doing a better job, consider replacing the PA. An unreliable PA is not good for your health and independence. Try to have the PA leave on good terms.

There are two circumstances under which a PA can quit or be fired: a planned departure or an abrupt departure. Since your need for personal assistance is usually continuous, it is wise to plan and schedule the event whenever possible.

Cause for Immediate Dismissal

Very rarely, a personal assistant's behavior is so extreme that you may feel you need to get rid of them immediately. This situation is called Gross Misconduct and it could include:

Physical or sexual assault or harassment (either at work or outside of working hours
Threatening behavior (to you or anyone else)
Deliberately or knowingly endangering your safety or anyone else's.
Arriving under the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs
Theft or fraud
Deliberate damage to your property
Verbal abuse (to you or anyone else)
Breaking your confidentiality
Gross insubordination (includes any conduct that tends to undermine your independence or self-determination)
Failure to disclose criminal charges or convictions in their application form.

Warning Never fire a PA on impulse while you are mad; the rationale for a valid firing is a clear list of well-established problems that cannot be resolved.

When you are tempted to fire a PA, go off by yourself for a while and ask yourself the following:

Ask yourself for a list of reasons for wanting to fire the PA. ("I just hate his guts" is not appropriate. Ask yourself for a list of reasons you feel that way.)
Ask yourself whether these reasons or problems can be resolved or whether they truly warrant a firing.
Ask yourself whether the non-resolvable reasons are of a type and severity that you truly cannot tolerate or whether they are just based on personality conflict.

After these decisions are made:

Wait at least 24 hours, if circumstances permit. The next day review your reasons for wanting to fire the employee. This helps to cool tendencies toward firings that are unwarranted and based solely on emotional impulses. If the problems are valid, well-established and long-standing in nature, they will endure a 24-hour wait.

If your reviews indicate that a firing is warranted, plan for a replacement PA before the firing:

If possible, without your current PA's knowledge, at least begin the process of recruiting, interviewing and hiring the replacement PA.
At least have back-up PAs alerted to your need for extra help, or arrange with family, friends, or an agency to provide assistance in an emergency.

Firing a PA section adapted from You're the boss!, http://www.disabilitygateshead.org.uk, © 2000 Gateshead Council on Disability, Personal Assistance Project, Gateshead, NE8 4DY, England. Reprinted with permission.

Go ahead forcefully with your plans. Do not back down if your decision is based on valid reasons. When you have decided to fire your personal assistant, do the following:

Perform the firing at the end of the PA's shift in order to minimize conflict.
Perform the firing without others present unless you believe that the PA might become physically abusive upon hearing the news.
Before the PA arrives on the day of the firing, review the list of reasons that have made the firing absolutely necessary. Write out the list if you fear that your mind might go blank during the meeting.
Convince yourself that you will not give the PA a second chance regardless of excuses, whining, or anger you may hear.

When addressing the PA...

Say you need to speak with her and ask her to sit down, "Mary, I would like to speak with you for a minute, please have a seat." Position yourself squarely in front of her, make good eye contact with her face and eyes, speak clearly, and use a firm and caring, but not loud or arrogant tone of voice.
Do not begin with an apology. You will be doing nothing for which you should be sorry.
Give straight, honest and well-known reasons as the rationale for the firing. Be brief and to the point. Say that your needs must be met and that not having them met is unhealthy and stressful. "Mary, for sometime now you have been coming to work late, either drunk or stoned, and you have almost dropped me twice in performing transfers. The situation is getting steadily worse."
Before the PA can reply to these reasons, follow this statement of rationale with a firm, unemotional statement of actual firing. The statement of firing can be stated several different ways, for example:

"Mary, based on these reasons, I believe it is best if we part ways", or

"I have decided to dismiss you", or

"I have decided to replace you, or

"I have decided that I will no longer need your help", or

"I will no longer be asking you to help me", or

"I have decided to let you go", or "I am firing you."

When stating the termination:

Clearly indicate if the firing is effective immediately ("Mary, please consider this your last day. I will send you your final paycheck tomorrow.") or;
If you are giving the PA a period of time to find new employment ("Mary, if you wish I will be glad to keep you for up to two weeks to give you an opportunity to find new employment"), or;
If you are requesting the PA to stay a specific amount of time. ("Mary, I would appreciate your working for two more weeks while I find and train a replacement. This also will give you time to find another job.")
Do not allow yourself to be drawn into an argument or to react defensively to any arrogant or nasty comments from the PA. Keep a straight, firm and pleasant face. If a reply to a nasty response is required many managers simply state (and perhaps have to repeat) "Mary, I'm sorry that you feel that way."

While it is not uncommon for a fired PA to become defensive and angry on hearing the news, some PAs actually will be relieved and pleased. It is surprisingly common for a PA to thank you for firing her. She might even state that she is relieved because you had the courage to fire her, since she lacked the courage to simply quit.

Tip Important tasks before the PA leaves:

Have PA complete all duties and paperwork before paying her.
Be sure to collect any house or car keys or borrowed items at an appropriate time. If the PA refuses to return keys and you feel that your safety or possessions are threatened, promptly call a locksmith and have your key cores changed.

"Go Ahead Forcefully" adapted from Home Health Aides: How to Manage the People Who Help You, (p. 158) by A.H. DeGraff, copyright 1988, Saratoga Access Publications, Fort Collins, Colorado, http://www.saratoga-publications.com. Reprinted with permission.

Firing a Live-In

Firing a live-in can cause tremendous anxiety for an employer. It also can be dangerous. For this reason, it must be carefully planned.

First and foremost, ensure your safety. You may anger someone who is stronger than you are. When telling someone he is out of a job and place to live, ensuring your safety is paramount.
Never give notice of firing. Unfortunately, the PA must not have the slightest hint that you will fire them as your safety lies in the balance. Remain calm until you are in your wheelchair or otherwise as independent as possible before bringing up the subject.
Have someone with you when you fire the PA, if desired.You may want someone with you for moral support, as a witness, or to protect you if you suspect a violent response. If you rent, your landlord may be willing to be present.
Insist that the live-in PA move out IMMEDIATELY. You cannot live with a fired employee! They must be made to leave before the evening of the day they are fired. If they refuse, call the police who will assist with the removal.
Remain present while the PA moves out to ensure that she does not damage or steal your property.
Have the locks changed IMMEDIATELY. Your landlord may be willing to re-key the locks for you; otherwise call a locksmith. Yes, it is expensive, but it is also worth every penny for the peace of mind gained. Don't hesitate doing this at the same time the live-in PA is moving out.

Tip It is best to have a back-up system in place before firing your primary caregiver. If possible, seek a replacement PA ahead of time. Use an Independent Living Center, friend or family as the phone contact for ads. If no replacement is available, contact emergency back-up or respite workers prior to firing the PA to find someone to work on a part-time basis until a permanent PA can be found.

"Firing a live-in" is adapted from Avoiding Attendants from Hell: A Practical Guide to Finding, Hiring and Keeping Personal Care Attendants. Price, J. (1998), Science and Humanities Press, Chesterfield, MO.

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